Parenting an athlete means watching your kid push through things most people never attempt. It also means sometimes not knowing when the pushing has gone too far inside.
If you believe your child is in immediate danger, call 988 or go to your nearest emergency room.
Changes in sleep, appetite, or mood that last more than a couple weeks. Withdrawal from friends, family, or activities they used to love. Increased anxiety around performance or an outsized reaction to mistakes. Talking about feeling worthless, hopeless, or like a burden. Trust your instincts. You know your child.
Don't lead with performance. Don't make it about swimming or school. Just open a door: "I've noticed you seem like you're carrying something lately. I'm not here to fix anything, I just want to know how you're actually doing." Then listen more than you talk.
They need to know that struggling doesn't change how you see them. That their place in the family, and on the team, isn't conditional on how they perform. That getting help is something strong people do, not something weak people need.
If your child is withdrawing significantly, expressing hopelessness, or you're worried about their safety, it's time to involve a professional. Your pediatrician is a good first call. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline also has guidance for parents.